improvidence

Sir Patrick Ellis was spawned from the sunniest cranny from which sprouted the softest, woolliest sheep. Because of this, his hair is comparable to wool in volume and texture. If it doesn’t get trimmed regularly, his locks become so formidable that he can barely walk without careening about. Patrick has spent most of his life dwelling in a remote area of the Bubble Tundra with his favorite creature, a sheep-platypus named Vakston. They were just beginning to tire of the Tundra’s ice bubbles—(as the cold pelted them mercilessly), when Vakston spontaneously grew a pair of peppered moth’s wings from its lumpy purple back. Known for being ideal for camouflage, the wings would hide the two perfectly from the Bubble Tundra’s phalanx of guards. Realizing this, Mr. Ellis decided to mount Vakston. Not a second later, they shot upwards in a poof of glittery fortune. They flew for what seemed like years; they would have continued, but Patrick’s hair became so voluminous that they needed to land. Arriving in England, the pair became enthralled with dandy culture and adopted it as their own. For income, their hair was frequently chopped and used to manufacture elaborate facial pieces for the refined public. Sporting naples yellow velvet bowties, pinstriped vests and canes of ivory, they are and always will be the epitome of charm and sophistication.