improvidence

While snacking on a bowl of goat-leek soup on an uncommonly brisk May afternoon Queen Marie of Romania famously said “Fashion exists for women with no taste, etiquette for people with no breeding.” She was wrong. She had also never met Jenny Gorelick.

Recognizing their overall sloppiness of attire and harshness of attitude, the members of Improvidence spent long days, stormy nights, treacherous evenings, sweaty dawns, anxious daybreaks and passionate afternoons courting Ms. Gorelick to the ends of the Earth in hopes that she would make these wild beasts into cultured men and women. After deliberation and consternation Jenny was finally persuaded to join the alliance by the bribe of one hundred and fifty crates full of rare, black market amphibians.

Upon Jenny’s enlistment to the group, Improvidence immediately saw its etiquette, style and reproductive ability skyrocket. They may not have team uniforms as Jenny would like but at least have started getting their fur trimmed every once in a while.

Still, it should be noted that Ms. Gorelick can be quite the ruffian herself when necessary and would surely put the heel of her meticulously buckled knee-high leather boots through Queen Marie’s dental structure if that bitch said it to her face. Her ability to adapt her civilized ways with the rough life on the road with Improvidence has been Jenny’s most impressive feat. It can now be said that no one uses perfect manners so aggressively nor dresses so exquisitely with such ferocity. Her poise and commitment make her an integral part of the group and have helped Improvidence to shift its focus from barehanded mountain lion hunting to live comedic improvisational performance.