improvidence

“Alex Pleet!
His looks are beat –
he sleeps alongside dairy meat.

What’s he eat?
Some mushy wheat.
He likes to keep his nose hairs neat.

Angels greet
his hairy feet!
He squats upon a gilded seat.

When in heat,
he sucks the teat
before he’ll ever think to skeet.

Oh so sweet,
he’s not from Crete,
I now present you Alex Pleet!”

- Lord Tweedsmuir, 1876